Absol
by Comicfreak1007
Summary: Absol and his stuffed lion, Tragedy, is now taking over the world, thanks to Calvin. Can Calvin and Hobbes save the world from Calvin's look a like 10 year old cousin? please R&R!
1. Absol

Absol

Chapter one

It was dinnertime, and as usual, Mom was serving Calvin her famous, repulsive veggie glop that always made Calvin gag. Calvin sat next to Hobbes at the dinner table as always, avoiding the veggie glop.

Mom and Dad looked at Calvin.

"Should we tell him?" Mom whispered to Dad.

"We have to, honey." Dad whispered back.

Mom and Dad looked at Calvin again.

"Calvin, we have something to tell you." Dad said.

"What did I do?" Calvin asked, his eyes growing big.

"Nothing, sweetheart." Mom said.

Mom and Dad looked at each other again. Calvin gave Mom and Dad a quizzical look.

"Well, spill the pinto beans! Wheel of Fortune is coming on in five minutes."

"Sweetie, someone is going to stay here for a while." Mom said.

Calvin's eyes grew big again. He quickly jumped on the table, almost spilling food and drinks on the table.

"Calvin, get down right now!" Dad said.

"This instant!" Mom said.

"How could you adopt another kid? Ya already got me! 'Nuf said."

"We're not going to adopt your cousin, Calvin." Mom said. Calvin's mouth dropped.

"My cousin?" Calvin said.

"Yes, your cousin." Dad said.

"Now get off the table, so I can tell you the story of your cousin."

Calvin got off the table, and sat back down.

"Your cousin's name is Absol. Absol is four years older than you, but he's about your height. He also has a stuffed lion. Just like Hobbes, he's a stuffed animal."

"Hobbes is not a stuffed animal, he's real!" Calvin said, hugging Hobbes.

"Can't breathe…need air!" Hobbes choked.

"Anyway, since his parents are going cross country to make a documentary on trees, he's going to stay here for a year or so."

Calvin almost choked on his water.

"A year? I'll be old then! Why couldn't his parents take him with them?"

"Because they want Absol to go to school, and have a good education. Home schooling is expensive these days." Mom said.

Calvin crossed his arms, shrugging

"Hmph! Whatever. He can stay, but he's not sleeping in **MY **room! Ya hear me?"

Mom and Dad sighed.

"Come on, Hobbes. The television is calling our names." Calvin grabbed Hobbes, and he left the dining room. Mom gave Dad a disappointed look.

"He'll get used to the idea, honey." Dad said.

Mom sighed. "Maybe you're right, dear." She said.

Dad hugged Mom.

Meanwhile, In Burbank, California, there was a kid that is jinxed. Many people say that he's born with it. Some people say that he's a kid that was abducted by cursed aliens. We don't know how he got it, but every time when he talks to a person, or sees a person who is walking by, he will just think of bad luck for the person, and BOOM! That person has that bad luck.

Absol looks just like Calvin. He and Calvin are the same height, but Absol is 10 years-old, he has spiky hair, but the left side is black, and the other side is white. He also wears black pants, white short sleeved jacket, the left side of the jacket is black, and the other side is white.

He wears checkered wristbands, and black and white sandals. He also has a stuffed lion. The lion's name is Tragedy. Absol met Tragedy when Absol went fishing, and fished out Tragedy. Tragedy also causes major destruction every time he sees a person he doesn't like. Absol and Tragedy are in their room. Their room is dark, and always has been. Absol never turns on the light (He gets a migraine every time he turns it on), so Absol lights candles in his room. There is a candle next to Absol's bed, a candle next to Absol's computer, a candle on the windowsill, and a candle on a stool next to Absol's closet. Absol is sitting in the middle of his room. He speaks in a lifeless tone. Absol is also very cynical and mean. Anyway, Absol is sitting in the middle of the room. He's reading a book called HOW TO DIGEST RAW MEAT. Tragedy was sitting on Absol's bed.

"Absol, you have been reading that book for **FIVE** hours! Can we go to the mall now?" Tragedy asked in a lifeless tone.

"Be quiet. I'm still advising my book." Absol said.

"Isn't it cold down there?" Tragedy said again in a lifeless tone.

"I like the cold." Absol said coldly.

"You can't even see." Tragedy said.

"My mind can read the book." There was silence.

"Absol, how do you feel right now?" Tragedy finally asked.

**SLAM!!**

Absol slammed the book so hard that the room, and Tragedy, vibrated for 10 seconds.

"I was reading a book, and you interrupted my reading time, asking me how I'm feeling right now?"

"Well…yeah." Tragedy said.

"My parents are out of town, I'm living with a look a like cousin for a whole year, and then we'll be nice to each other and live happily ever after."

"Was that sarcasm?" Tragedy asked.

Absol ignored him. There was silence again. Absol looked at his watch.

"Come on. It's time to see my new family for a year." Absol walked over to the closet, and got out five suitcases.

"Let's go." Absol said, walking out the door and carrying the suitcases at the same time. Tragedy followed Absol.

Later, Absol and Tragedy were on a train. Absol looked out the window.

"Okay. Did you bring the schedule?"

"Yes I did." Tragedy said.

"Well, get it out, dumbbell!"

Tragedy got out the schedule, which was on a piece of crumpled paper.

"At 5:00, we meet your cousin and his family." Tragedy said.

"Yes, I know that. Keep going." Absol said.

"5:05 to 5:30, you'll be unpacking your stuff into the guest room."

"Come on, Tragedy! Skip the basic stuff! Read the good stuff." Absol ordered.

"Alright, alright. At 8:00, you will trick Calvin into opening your trunk."

"I'll be laughing my arse off when that happens!" Absol said.

"Then, we will cause disaster and destruction all over town, and then the world!" Absol and Tragedy were laughing hysterically.

Let's hope Calvin doesn't open Absol's trunk. Whatever is in Absol's trunk, it will make the town, and the world doomed.

**Do you like it so far? Please R&R! Sorry I haven't wrote any stories slash stories for a while. I discovered another story website, and I fell in love with it so much, that I forgot about (Sorry, readers). **


	2. Like Cousin, like Cousin

Chapter two

**_DING DONG!_** The doorbell rang.

"That must be Absol." Mom said as she was walking to the door. Absol and Tragedy were standing in front of the door.

"All right, Tragedy, you know the drill." Absol said in his usual tone.

"We pull the innocent act until Calvin opens our big trunk?" Tragedy asked.

"Yes. Now shut up, and keep a straight face." Mom opened the door and saw Absol, smiling at her.

"Are you my aunt?" Absol asked innocently.

Now, his voice is not lifeless, it's happy.

"Aren't you cute?" Mom said, pinching Absol's cheeks. Absol was still smiling as Mom pinched Absol's cheeks.

"Wow, doesn't that hurt?' Tragedy whispered to Absol.

"Well, what do you think monkey brain?" Absol said, gritting his teeth.

"What was that, Absol?" Mom asked.

Absol quickly turned to Mom.

"Well, it's just that I was on the train for a long, long time, and I was wondering if there's anything to eat in your lovely house." Absol asked sweetly.

"Well, of course. We were about to eat dinner. Come on in, you must be cold." Mom let Absol and Tragedy in.

"Calvin, come down here, and meet your cousin!" Calvin came down stairs carrying Hobbes.

"Ok, Hobbes, you know the drill." Calvin said.

"Pull the innocent act on Absol until he leaves?"

"Right. Follow my lead." Calvin took one look at Absol, and his mouth dropped to the floor.

"_Man, he does look like me, but he's 10!" _Calvin thought.

"Calvin, this is Absol. Absol, this is my son, Calvin."

"Hi, Calvin." Absol said sweetly.

"You're so lucky to have a Mom that's pretty. Now I know where she gets her looks from."

"Oh, you're too kind." Calvin said as sweetly as possible.

They both shook hands.

"Come on, kids. Dinner's ready."

Absol followed Calvin and Mom into the dining room. Absol and Calvin sat next to each other at the table, looking at each other suspiciously.

"_Look at Absol smiling at me. Man, doesn't that hurt his teeth?"_ Calvin thought.

While Calvin was picking at his meatloaf, Absol also looked at Calvin suspiciously.

"_OUCH! This smiling thing is really hurting my teeth. Clueless little Calvin. Little does he know that once he opens my trunk, my power will be released, and then I will take over the world!" _Absol said in his head.

"_I can read your mind, too, you know." _Tragedy said to Absol in his mind.

"_Shut up, Tragedy!" _

"Who wants dessert?" Mom asked.

"**I DO!**" Calvin and Absol said at once. Oddly, they sounded alike when they said those words. Mom walked into the kitchen, and came out with a bowl of chocolate pudding. She put it in the middle of the table.

"To be honest, Aunt…"

Look out the window, and you'll see a big truck driving by Calvin's house. Someone in the truck will honk the truck's horn, droning out Absol's voice, thus, we will never know Mom's first name.

"…I haven't finished my peas, and I don't like peas…"

"No problem. You can still have dessert anyways." Mom said, scooping a bowl of pudding for Absol and Dad.

"Hey, I don't like peas either, and they're still on my plate!" Calvin said.

"Eat your peas, Calvin, and you can have dessert." Mom said, scooping a bowl of pudding for herself.

"Listen to your mother, Calvin." Dad said, eating his bowl of pudding.

"Eating healthy foods build character." Calvin was steaming mad.

Not because that he had another "It will build character" lecture from Dad, but even Hobbes had pudding! He's not even going to share it with Calvin.

Hobbes was deliberately smacking as he ate the chocolate pudding. Calvin glared at Hobbes.

"What? I love pudding." Hobbes said.

After dinner, Calvin and Hobbes were in the living room, watching cartoons. Absol jumped in front of the TV.

"Hey, Athens, can you move, we can't see the TV!" Calvin said.

"It's Absol." Absol said sweetly.

"Whatever! Don't you have anything else to do?" Calvin asked impatiently.

Absol laughed nervously. Then, he picked up Tragedy who was right next to him.

"Who's the teddy bear?" Calvin asked.

"He's not a bear, he's a lion, and his name is Tragedy!" Absol said.

With that, Absol left the living room, so he can talk with Tragedy.

"Man, this kid is meaner than I thought…how are we going to get him to open your trunk?" Tragedy asked.

"What am I? The brains?" Absol asked harshly.

"Yes."

"Shut up."

Absol was thinking long and hard, until he finally came up with an idea!

"I got it. All kids love candy, right? So if we tell Calvin that there's candy in my trunk, he'll open it, and the world will be mine! ALL FREAKIN' MINE!"

"Be quiet, Absol! TV over here!" Calvin yelled to Absol in the living room.

"Come on, Tragedy. Time for the plan to come out of its closet." Absol said.

He carried Tragedy, and they both went into the living room again.

"Hey, Calvin, do you like candy?" Absol asked the couch potato Calvin.

"Yeah…what's your point?" Calvin asked, his eyes glued to the TV.

"Well, I got a lot of candy in my blue trunk." Absol said.

Calvin got out the remote out of the couch, and turned off the TV.

"I'm listening." He said.

"I have tons of candy in my trunk! CRUNCH bars, Reese's, Mr. Good Bars, Skittles, M&M's, sugar daddies, and sugar babies…"

"Where are the goods?" Calvin asked in a slow, scary voice.

"Upstairs in your room." Absol replied quickly.

"Come on, Hobbes! We're gonna be in candy wonderland!" Calvin grabbed Hobbes, and both of them bolted out of the living room, and went upstairs.

"Should I say that your plan worked like a charm?" Tragedy asked.

Absol ignored him.

"This is like taking candy from a baby." Absol said.

Absol and Tragedy, too, bolted out of the living room, and went upstairs.

Absol ran in Calvin's room, where Calvin and Hobbes was. Calvin was rubbing his two hands together. Calvin and Hobbes were standing in front of the trunk. The trunk was only three feet high, it's blue, and there are carvings on the bottom of the trunk.

"Go ahead and open it." Absol said. He had an evil grin on his face.

"It's not locked."

"I don't think this is a good idea, Calvin." Hobbes said.

"What if there's no candy in Absol's trunk?"

"There is candy in there, booger brain!" Calvin said harshly.

"He said so himself. Man, what's in your empty skull, a bag of peanuts?"

Hobbes crossed his arms, and gave Calvin an evil look.

Calvin slowly opened the trunk, eagerly waiting for sweets in the interior of the trunk, except…

There's no candy!

"Hey! There's no candy in this trunk! You lied!" Calvin said, pointing a finger at Absol.

"See that glowing green ball inside my trunk?" Absol asked.

Calvin jumped inside a trunk. He looked around, until finally, he saw a green light on the right corner of the empty trunk. He found the glowing, green ball.

"I found it! I found the candy!" Calvin said, jumping out of the trunk.

There was a top on the glowing green ball. The top was like a top on a beer bottle, except a little bigger. Calvin tried to twist the top of the ball, but no avail.

"Hey, the candy ball won't open!" Calvin complained.

"Maybe I can help." Absol said.

Calvin handed the glowing ball to Absol. Absol turned his back away from Calvin. He did something that will help Calvin open the top of the glowing ball.

After a minute or so, Absol handed the glowing ball to Calvin, and said, "Here. Try it now."

Calvin twisted the cap, and surprisingly, the cap came off.

The ground started to shake, and tiny glowing green balls flew out of the glass ball, thus, the inside of the green ball lost its glowing green color.

The little green balls flew inside Absol. Absol was laughing hysterically as the outlines of his body turned green. Then, he floated off the green, and started shaking like lightning had strike him. Then, Absol slowly landed on the ground.

Now, Absol's power is released. Remember earlier in the story when I said that Absol and Tragedy can make people unlucky? Well, thanks to Calvin, their power is now released.

Calvin better not say anything, or else an anvil is going to land on him. And that's what Absol is thinking right now!

"So…um…Kelvin…"

"It's…Calvin." Calvin said, angry.

"Whatever. Any last words, before I destroy your little town, and take over the world?"

"Yes…kiss my…"

Calvin was interrupted by big anvil appearing over him.

Calvin got out a sign that said "**MOMMY!**"

Then, the anvil landed on Calvin so hard, that the anvil pressing on Calvin's body sounded like an egg cracking.

"Calvin!" Hobbes said. Hobbes ran over to Calvin, and pulled Calvin out from under the anvil.

"Hey, watch it! You could've really hurt him! This is real life, not a cartoon!" Hobbes said.

Calvin slowly woke up.

"Where am I?" Calvin said slowly.

"Your stupid cousin dropped an anvil on you." Hobbes said.

"He did? But I didn't see him drop it. It was floating above me. How did he do that?"

Calvin and Hobbes turned around and Absol and Tragedy are gone.

"Yikes! They're gone! Hobbes, let's go! We have no time to lose!" Calvin ran out of the room.

Hobbes was about to leave the room, when he took one shocking look at the anvil that landed on Calvin. the anvil looked like it was about to go through the ceiling, but ti didn't even move a bit!

"Forget about the anvil and come on!" Calvin ran back into the room, grabbed Hobbes, and they bother ran out of the house.

**Please R&R! If you want to read what's going to happen next!**


	3. Downtime

Chapter three

"Where do you think Absol is now?" Hobbes asked, as he and Calvin are running across the street.

"He's on Horror Blvd. We have to hurry!" Calvin said quickly.

Calvin and Hobbes were now running on the other side of the street. Horror blvd. was straight ahead.

"Look! There he is! I see him!" Hobbes said.

They stopped running for a second to look at Absol and Tragedy. They were standing on the corner of Horror blvd, and they were 30 yards away from Calvin and Hobbes.

"Absol! There they are!" Tragedy said, tugging on Absol's shirt.

Absol turned around and saw Calvin and Hobbes in front of him. Absol didn't say a word as he grabbed Tragedy, and ran across the street.

"**AFTER HIM!**" Calvin said. Calvin and Hobbes ran after Absol.

They ran across the street, a blue convertible almost hitting them. The convertible honked as Calvin and Hobbes were no longer on the road. The four of them were still running.

"Next time, look both ways before we cross the street!" Hobbes said, panting.

"I didn't see you do it, peanut brain!" Calvin said.

"We have to catch up to Absol! Where the heck is he going?"

"How should I know? We're a couple of miles behind him!" Meanwhile, Absol and Tragedy were running from Calvin and Hobbes.

"Where are we going?" Tragedy asked.

"Must…you…ask…questions…fur head?"

"Well…yeah."

"Be quiet." Absol was almost out of breath.

"Where are we going again?" Tragedy asked.

"We're going to that haunted mansion!"

"You mean the haunted mansion that is 2 minutes away?"

"Exactly."

"Why are we going there?" Tragedy asked.

Absol stopped next to a bush that was located 2 inches to the right. He and Tragedy jumped into the bush.

"Ok…you know that ball Calvin opened, and my powers are released?"

"Yeah." Tragedy replied.

"Well, my power is not fully release yet. I was born in a haunted house in Connecticut for some reason…and every time I go into a creepy house, it makes me calm…so I was thinking that If I go into that haunted mansion, I will get calm. Then, once I inhale the haunted mansion air, it will mix with the little green balls in my stomach, and then my power will really come to effect!"

"Absol, you are a genius." Tragedy said, shaking Absol's hand.

"Thank you…and don't you forget it." Absol scratched his black and white hair.

"ABSOL! Where are you, you liar!" That was Calvin.

"Calvin!" Tragedy whispered.

"Shut up and get down!" Absol whispered as he pushed tragedy's head down.

Absol and tragedy couldn't see Hobbes' head, but they saw Calvin's angry face.

"Just wait until I find him….oh, he's going to get it!"

"He's probably beginning to destroy our town now." Hobbes said.

Calvin gasped.

"I think I know where he is…Follow me, quick!"

Calvin and Hobbes ran across, ran straight across the street for a few miles, and then turned right.

Absol and Tragedy got out of the bush.

"I'm not going to do that yet, but soon, I will…soon."

"You got that right." Tragedy said. He was about to hug Absol, but Absol took a step away from Tragedy, and tragedy fell to the ground and fell flat on his face. He moaned in pain.

Absol shook his head.

"Tragedy, this is no time to eat the concrete…we got a world to destroy!"

Tragedy helped himself off the ground. His face was fuzzy, and filed with a little bit of dirt and rocks.

Tragedy brushed the dirt and rocks off his face.

"Now, let's go take over the world." Tragedy and Absol walked over to each other and accidentally bumped into each other in the head.

Absol flew 30 feet to the right side of Tragedy and landed in the bushes across the street, and Tragedy fell to the ground

Absol got out of the bush and Tragedy got up helped himself off the ground...again.

"HEY!" Absol's lifeless voice has turned into an angry voice...with emotion! He rarely uses his voice that way.

"**WHY THE HELL DID YOU DO THAT, YOU STUPID LION?!**"

"You started it." Tragedy shot back, pointing a finger at Absol.

"**I DID NOT! YOU WERE THE ONE THAT STARTED WALKING!!!**"

That's when Absol lost it.

**"YA KNOW WHAT, TRAGEDY?? YO M-"**

"HEY, HEY, HEY! NOT IN FRONT OF OUR READERS!" Tragedy warned.

Absol looked at the readers.

"There, you saw us...now, get out."

"HEY! We're suppsoed to take over the world, remember??"

Absol stopped looking at the readers and looked at Tragedy with a evil look.

"I know that...so let's go to that haunted house already!"

Absol and Tragedy raced across the street...and that's where the haunted house is located.

**Please R&R.**


End file.
